Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
