you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You smell like stripper and shame
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
