This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
