dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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