How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
