I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
