i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
