Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
