If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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