If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There r osticjed everywhere
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
