you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
