Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
