I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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