Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
