Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
