Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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