when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
