He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
