Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
