The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
