Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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