go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
