Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
