I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
