I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
