dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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