you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
