i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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