when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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