Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
