He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
