Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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