I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
