I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
