i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
