Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
