she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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