Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
