every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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