I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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