I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
