member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
