I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
