Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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