You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
