I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
