All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
