I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
