Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
