No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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